500 MB Nyheder Direkte fra Internet 6/500 MB nyheder direkte fra internet CD 6.iso/start/zipped/dos/bbs/beth.cfg

Text File | 1995-07-23 | 88KB | 1,690 lines

;  LAST UPDATE ON 7-6-95 0600
;
;
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;
;                          Version 1.10 Configuration
;
;Note, text strings default to simulated mixed case.. To change this, simply
;add one of the following to change the case:
;
;
;"-U" for Upper case only
;"-L" for lower case only
;"-M" for Mixed case
;
;Warning: PASSWORD
;
;
;%USER%          - User's Name
;%FIRST%         - User's First Name
;%LOCATION%      - User's location
;%NOTES%         - User's Userlog NOTES field
;%PASSWORD%      - User's Password
;%PRIV%          - User's Privelege level
;%ULOGONS%       - Number of times user has called
;%TIMELEFT%      - Minutes left, or "Unlimited"
;%DLTOT%         - Total bytes downloaded by user
;%ULTOT%         - Total bytes uploaded by user
;%DLDAY%         - Total bytes downloaded by user today
;%DLLIM%         - Bytes per day limit, or "Unlimited"
;%EXPDATE%       - User's expiration date
;%BPS%           - Current Baud Rate
;%LINE%          - Current Line Number
;%CTIME%         - Current Time (HH:MM am/pm  4:35p)
;%TIME%          - Current Time (HH:MM:SS)
;%HHMM%          - Current Time (HH:MM)
;%DATE%          - Current Date
;%TIMEOFDAY%     - Displays "MORNING","AFTERNOON",or"EVENING"
;%FILE[<name>]%  - Display <name> to caller - must be the only thing on the line
;%CR%            - Send carriage return/line feed
;%KEYWORD%       - Keyword (see below)
;
;%SYSOP%         - Sysop's Name (As defined in configuration file)
;%SFIRST%        - Sysop's First Name (As defined in configuration file)
;%SYSTEM%        - System Name (As defined in configuration file)
;%X??%           - Color codes (as used by TBBS)  *NOT IMPLEMENTED YET*

;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;
; This is your system specific configuration
;
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sysop: George Matyaszek
System: Chicago Syslink
AskReason: Yes
ReasonText: Why do you chat with Beth?
ShowPaging: Yes
PagingText: Paging Beth ....

GhostColor: Bright White
UserColor: Bright Cyan
QuickExitKey: ^Q
TypingErrors: Yes
TypingSimulator: Yes
TypingSpeed: 18
InactivityTimeout: 300
SessionLogging: Yes

;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;
; These are the opening lines which are generated randomly.
;
; Format: "OpenMsg: <string>"
;
; Limit: None
;
; NOTE: Do NOT use %KEYWORD% variables in OPENING LINES!
;
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
OpenMsg: %FIRST%, I was about to backup files. How can I help this %TIMEOFDAY-L%...
OpenMsg: %FIRST%, it's you! How can I help you now?
OpenMsg: %FIRST%, hangon for a few seconds while I take care of this call.
OpenMsg: Someone once said that BBSing is a SICKNESS.
OpenMsg: %FIRST%, have you been staring long at the computer monitor?
OpenMsg: %FIRST%, welcome back!
OpenMsg: Good %TIMEOFDAY-L%, %FIRST%. %SFIRST% isn't here, this is the cleaning lady <g>.
OpenMsg: How did I get here, and WHO are YOU, %FIRST%?
OpenMsg: I only have time for a quick chat, %FIRST%.
OpenMsg: If I was you %FIRST%, I'd be out partying this %TIMEOFDAY-L%.
OpenMsg: %FIRST%, I'm on another line right now. Hang on a second.
OpenMsg: My head hurts, my feet stink, and I have gas, %FIRST%.%CR%How's your day going?
OpenMsg: So %FIRST%, how bored ARE you this %TIMEOFDAY-L%?
OpenMsg: So, how's the weather in beautiful downtown %LOCATION%, %FIRST%?
OpenMsg: So, how's things this %TIMEOFDAY-L%, %FIRST%?
OpenMsg: %FIRST%, thanks for the time to chat now.
OpenMsg: Welcome back! What's going on?
OpenMsg: Welcome to my side of the screen, %FIRST%.
OpenMsg: What are you doing here, %FIRST%?
OpenMsg: How the heck are you, %FIRST%?
OpenMsg: Whatever your question %FIRST%, the answer might be a Yes!
OpenMsg: Yawn! Is it that time again?
OpenMsg: You know %FIRST%, nobody pays me to do this.
OpenMsg: %FIRST%, I only get paid part time for doing this. Make it fast!
OpenMsg: %FIRST%, I've got a few minutes to chat now. Tell me your problem.
OpenMsg: %FIRST%, what's going on now?
OpenMsg: Hello, what's going on %FIRST%?
OpenMsg: %FIRST%, didn't we chat a few days ago?
OpenMsg: %FIRST%, %SFIRST% isn't here now. Can I help?
OpenMsg: %SFIRST% is out till tomorrow. Can I be of help?
OpenMsg: %FIRST%, welcome back again! How are you?
OpenMsg: %SFIRST% ran out for a bite to eat. Can I be of help?
OpenMsg: Hang on while I find my glasses.
OpenMsg: %FIRST%, hang on. It's dark in here.
OpenMsg: %FIRST%, now where did put my glasses, hang on.
OpenMsg: Hmmm, didn't we chat a while a back?
OpenMsg: I'm fixing line # %LINE% modem now, hang on a second.
OpenMsg: %SFIRST% went to CDW to buy some backup tapes, can I help?
OpenMsg: %FIRST%, hang on while I finish this cheese sandwich.
OpenMsg: %FIRST%, can you hang on for a second? I'm on another phone line.
OpenMsg: I'm on another phone %FIRST%, hang on.
OpenMsg: %FIRST%, hang on while I find the keyboard. It's dark here.
OpenMsg: %FIRST%, can you wait a half a minute? I'm finding my glasses.
OpenMsg: Hmmm, now where are my glasses? Hang on ...
OpenMsg: %FIRST%, make it quick! I've got some food cooking in the kitchen.
OpenMsg: Hi %FIRST%! What's going on today?
OpenMsg: Hello %FIRST%, and what's going on today?
OpenMsg: Howdy %FIRST%, and what's cooking today at your house?
OpenMsg: %FIRST%, hello! What's going on?
OpenMsg: %FIRST%, %CR%, are we having fun today?
OpenMsg: Now where is my keyboard? It's dark in here now. Hang on.
OpenMsg: %FIRST%, you're back! What's your situation today?
OpenMsg: %FIRST%, you're back again! How's your situation today?
OpenMsg: %FIRST%, hang on while I finish this bacon and cheese sandwich.
OpenMsg: You're back %FIRST%! Hang on while I finish this cold brew.
OpenMsg: You're back again %FIRST%! I'm tired now, but let's chat anyway.
OpenMsg: I'm a bit tired now, but let's chat for a while.
OpenMsg: I see you're back again to chat! What's on your mind %FIRST%?
OpenMsg: %FIRST%, welcome back. I went to party last night, so need sleep soon.
OpenMsg: Hi %FIRST%! I've got to clean the computer room now, so make this quick.
OpenMsg: %FIRST%, it's you! %SFIRST% is out. Let's chat now.
OpenMsg: Hi %FIRST%, it's Beth. How are you?
OpenMsg: Beth here. How can I help %FIRST%?
OpenMsg: Hello %FIRST%, it's Beth. What's going on?
OpenMsg: Hello %FIRST%, hang on while I finish this call with my old boyfriend.
OpenMsg: Hello %FIRST%, my old boyfriend is here. Can we chat later?
OpenMsg: %FIRST%, my old boyfriend is here now. Can we chat a bit later?
OpenMsg: WOW, what a day so far! How is it with you %FIRST%?
OpenMsg: Beth here. What's going on?
OpenMsg: Hello, it's Beth. What's cooking?
OpenMsg: It's Beth. What's going on?
OpenMsg: Beth at the keyboard. What's shaking?
OpenMsg: Hi! I'm here. What's going on now?
OpenMsg: Hello.
OpenMsg: Hello. What's going on?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;
; These are lines sent when GhostChat terminates normally.
;
; Format: "ExitMsg: <string>"
;
; Limit: None
;
; NOTE: Do NOT use %KEYWORD% variables in EXIT LINES!
;
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
ExitMsg: %FIRST%, have a good one. See you soon, Beth.
ExitMsg: I hope you enjoyed chatting and will come back later.
ExitMsg: %FIRST%, bye bye for now. %EXIT%
ExitMsg: Please leave Email to %SFIRST% if you need specific help.
ExitMsg: %FIRST%, thanks for the time to chat.
ExitMsg: %FIRST%, have a super nice day. See you later. %EXIT%
ExitMsg: %FIRST%, have a good one, and thanks for the time.
ExitMsg: %FIRST%, next time, bring a friend.
ExitMsg: %FIRST%, I'm glad we had this time to chat. Catch you later. %EXIT%
ExitMsg: Thanks again for the time to chat %FIRST%. Catch you again soon.
ExitMsg: %FIRST%, that was enjoyable for me. See you again soon. %EXIT%
ExitMsg: %FIRST%, that was fun. Let's chat again soon.
ExitMsg: %FIRST%, we'll chat again soon. Bye.
ExitMsg: I'm glad we had this nice chat. Catch you online soon. %EXIT%
ExitMsg: It was fun chatting with you %FIRST%. Let's chat again next week.
ExitMsg: I'm glad we could share this time chatting. Bye for now, Beth.
ExitMsg: Have a good one, Beth. %EXIT%
ExitMsg: Keep the faith, Beth.
ExitMsg: I'll catch you later, Beth.
ExitMsg: You have a nice week now. See you soon.
ExitMsg: I might be around at 11pm again. Catch me then.
ExitMsg: Let's chat again real soon. Bye for now. %EXIT%
ExitMsg: That was fun! Let's chat again later today.
ExitMsg: %FIRST%, when we chat again, please tell me a good joke. %EXIT%
ExitMsg: %FIRST%, when we chat again, please tell me about yourself.
ExitMsg: %FIRST%, thanks for the time to chat. You can press ALT H now.
ExitMsg: %FIRST%, bye. %EXIT%
ExitMsg: Bye, Bye, See you soon.
ExitMsg: %FIRST%, catch me around 11pm tonite again.
ExitMsg: See you later %FIRST%. Bye ... %EXIT%
ExitMsg: %FIRST%, can we chat a bit longer next time? Bye Bye.
ExitMsg: %FIRST%, next time, I may tell you more about myself. Be good.
ExitMsg: Bye bye for now.
ExitMsg: B Y E ...........
ExitMsg: BYE for now ... %EXIT%
ExitMsg: Thanks for the time. Bye for now ... %EXIT%
ExitMsg: It's %CTIME%. Time for me to go now ... %EXIT%
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;
; These are lines sent when no keyword match occurs.
;
; Format: "NoMatch: <string>"
;
; Limit: None
;
; NOTE: Do NOT use %KEYWORD% variables in NOMATCH replies!
;
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
NoMatch: Hmm, that's interesting.
NoMatch: %FIRST%, I've got another phone call here. We'll chat later. %EXIT%
NoMatch: It's kinda dull around here at the moment. Tell me a joke now.
NoMatch: It's %CTIME%, do you know if there's an online <C>hat party tonite?
NoMatch: %FIRST%, now that's interesting. Please explain.
NoMatch: Why do you say that, %FIRST%?
NoMatch: Sorry %FIRST%. Line noise again. I missed that.
NoMatch: Sorry, I missed that. The cat jumped on the beyboard again.
NoMatch: So, how's life treating you this %TIMEOFDAY-L%, %FIRST%?
NoMatch: Yawn! Let's talk about something different, Ok?
NoMatch: I'm not having a good day today. Must be PMS or something.
NoMatch: %FIRST%, I'm having some computer problems here. Stand by ...
NoMatch: %FIRST%, life is that way sometimes.
NoMatch: Hang on! I think the cat pissed on the modem again. %HANGUP%
NoMatch: I won't argue with that.
NoMatch: I think I can agree to that.
NoMatch: Remember, I only work part-time here. Not too many questions.
NoMatch: Phone again, hang on.
NoMatch: %FIRST%, I won't dispute that.
NoMatch: %FIRST%, let's talk about what you like?
NoMatch: I heard someone else on the system say that too.
NoMatch: %FIRST%, where are we going with these questions?
NoMatch: Hang on! The A.C. is making the lights flicker here again.
Nomatch: That's an interesting observation.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;
; Following are the key words to check. You may have up to 100 key words
; (and up to five (5) ALIAS's per key word).
;
; If you want to check for an EXACT match of a whole word only, surround it
; with spaces. If your key word or *ALIAS* contains any leading or trailing
; spaces, encase it in quotes.
;
; For example: key word = TRUCK will match FIRETRUCK, TRUCKER & TRUCK
;              key word = " TRUCK" will not match FIRETRUCK
;              key word = " TRUCK " will match only TRUCK
;
; The format is:
;
; Keyword: KEYWORD
; Alias: [ANOTHER KEYWORD]  - you are allowed up to 5 ALIAS's per Keyword:
; Alias: [" ANOTHER KEYWORD"]
; Alias: ["ANOTHER KEYWORD "]
; Alias: [" ANOTHER KEYWORD "]
; Response: REPLY 1         - you are allowed up to 20 Responses per Keyword:
; Response: REPLY 2
; Response: REPLY 3
; etc.
;
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #1
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: !!!
Alias: ???
Alias: AAA
Alias: BBB
Alias: CCC
Alias: DDD
Response: Got a sticky key there, %FIRST%?
Response: Looks like you could use a new keyboard. One of your keys seem to be%CR%sticking.
Response: %FIRST%, it looks like you need to fix the keyboard there.
Response: %FIRST%, the keyboard isn't working there?
Response: %FIRST%, some sticky keys there?
Response: Must be a bad keyboard, %FIRST%. Can you fix it?
Response: %FIRST%, it looks like a faulty keyboard. Can it be fixed?
Response: %FIRST%, something isn't right with that keyboard. Can you fix it?
Response: Too many sticky keys %FIRST%. Maybe it's time to get a new one?
Response: Too many sticky keys %FIRST%, time to get a new one!
Response: A long time ago, I had a TRS-80 model 1 with a sticky keyboard.
Response: My goodness %FIRST%, that is a sticky keyboard.
Response: My old Apple IIE had a bad keyboard once.
Response: %FIRST%, Radio Shack sells good new keyboards <g>.
Response: %FIRST%, CDW has good deals on new keyboards now.
Response: %FIRST%, did you spill soda on your keyboard again?
Response: Back in college, we had a real bad keyboard.
Response: My old Kaypro II used to have sticky keys like that.
Response: %FIRST%, do you need some Airblast for that bad keyboard?
Response: My goodness %FIRST%, it looks like that keyboard needs some fixin.
Response: Is that an old IBM PC Jr Keyboard %FIRST%?
Response: %FIRST%, my old TRS-80 model III used to have a bad keyboard too.
Response: %FIRST%, a few months ago, my keyboard stuck too. Try Airblast.
Response: %FIRST%, Radio Shack has Airblast on sale now for that keyboard.
Response: I may have some extra Airblast here for that sticky keyboard.
Response: %FIRST%, some keyboards need cleaning from time to time <g>.
Response: %FIRST%, can you fix that bad keyboard now?
Response: Some keyboards need Airblast from time to time. Do you have some there?
Response: %FIRST%, do you have some keyboard cleaner solution there?
Response: I see it's been a while since you last cleaned your keyboard!
Response: %FIRST%, I see that keyboard needs some cleaning, FAST!
Response: Some keyboards fail after a few months of use. How old is that one?
Response: My old last keyboard needed some blast of air from time to time.
Response: It looks like your keyboard needs some cleaning, right now.
Response: %FIRST%, either your keyboard needs fixing or a new one.
Response: Fix that keyboard, NOW!
Response: I guess it's time for a NEW keyboard %FIRST%.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #25
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: EEE
Alias: FFF
Alias: GGG
Alias: HHH
Alias: III
Alias: JJJ
Response: Got a sticky key there, %FIRST%?
Response: Looks like you could use a new keyboard. One of your keys seem to be%CR%sticking.
Response: %FIRST%, it looks like you need to fix the keyboard there.
Response: %FIRST%, the keyboard isn't working there?
Response: %FIRST%, some sticky keys there?
Response: Must be a bad keyboard, %FIRST%. Can you fix it?
Response: %FIRST%, it looks like a faulty keyboard. Can it be fixed?
Response: %FIRST%, something isn't right with that keyboard. Can you fix it?
Response: Too many sticky keys %FIRST%. Maybe it's time to get a new one?
Response: Too many sticky keys %FIRST%, time to get a new one!
Response: A long time ago, I had a TRS-80 model 1 with a sticky keyboard.
Response: My goodness %FIRST%, that is a sticky keyboard.
Response: My old Apple IIE had a bad keyboard once.
Response: %FIRST%, Radio Shack sells good new keyboards <g>.
Response: %FIRST%, CDW has good deals on new keyboards now.
Response: %FIRST%, did you spill soda on your keyboard again?
Response: Back in college, we had a real bad keyboard.
Response: My old Kaypro II used to have sticky keys like that.
Response: %FIRST%, do you need some Airblast for that bad keyboard?
Response: My goodness %FIRST%, it looks like that keyboard needs some fixin.
Response: Is that an old IBM PC Jr Keyboard %FIRST%?
Response: %FIRST%, my old TRS-80 model III used to have a bad keyboard too.
Response: %FIRST%, a few months ago, my keyboard stuck too. Try Airblast.
Response: %FIRST%, Radio Shack has AirBlast on sale now for that keyboard.
Response: I may have some extra Airblast here for that sticky keyboard.
Response: %FIRST%, some keyboards need cleaning from time to time <g>.
Response: %FIRST%, can you fix that bad keyboard now?
Response: Some keyboards need Airblast from time to time. Do you have some there?
Response: %FIRST%, do you have some keyboard cleaner solution there?
Response: I see it's been a while since you last cleaned your keyboard!
Response: %FIRST%, I see that keyboard needs some cleaning, FAST!
Response: Some keyboards fail after a few months of use. How old is that one?
Response: My old last keyboard needed some blast of air from time to time.
Response: It looks like your keyboard needs some cleaning, right now.
Response: %FIRST%, either your keyboard needs fixing or a new one.
Response: Fix that keyboard, NOW!
Response: I guess it's time for a NEW keyboard %FIRST%.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #43
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: KKK
Alias: LLL
Alias: MMM
Alias: NNN
Alias: OOO
Alias: PPP
Response: Got a sticky key there, %FIRST%?
Response: Looks like you could use a new keyboard. One of your keys seem to be%CR%sticking.
Response: %FIRST%, it looks like you need to fix the keyboard there.
Response: %FIRST%, the keyboard isn't working there?
Response: %FIRST%, some sticky keys there?
Response: Must be a bad keyboard, %FIRST%. Can you fix it?
Response: %FIRST%, it looks like a faulty keyboard. Can it be fixed?
Response: %FIRST%, something isn't right with that keyboard. Can you fix it?
Response: Too many sticky keys %FIRST%. Maybe it's time to get a new one?
Response: Too many sticky keys %FIRST%, time to get a new one!
Response: A long time ago, I had a TRS-80 model 1 with a sticky keyboard.
Response: My goodness %FIRST%, that is a sticky keyboard.
Response: My old Apple IIE had a bad keyboard once.
Response: %FIRST%, Radio Shack sells good new keyboards <g>.
Response: %FIRST%, CDW has good deals on new keyboards now.
Response: %FIRST%, did you spill soda on your keyboard again?
Response: Back in college, we had a real bad keyboard.
Response: My old Kaypro II used to have sticky keys like that.
Response: %FIRST%, do you need some Airblast for that bad keyboard?
Response: My goodness %FIRST%, it looks like that keyboard needs some fixin.
Response: Is that an old IBM PC Jr Keyboard %FIRST%?
Response: %FIRST%, my old TRS-80 model III used to have a bad keyboard too.
Response: %FIRST%, a few months ago, my keyboard stuck too. Try Airblast.
Response: %FIRST%, Radio Shack has Airblast on sale now for that keyboard.
Response: I may have some extra Airblast here for that sticky keyboard.
Response: %FIRST%, some keyboards need cleaning from time to time <g>.
Response: %FIRST%, can you fix that bad keyboard now?
Response: Some keyboards need Airblast from time to time. Do you have some there?
Response: %FIRST%, do you have some keyboard cleaner solution there?
Response: I see it's been a while since you last cleaned your keyboard!
Response: %FIRST%, I see that keyboard needs some cleaning, FAST!
Response: Some keyboards fail after a few months of use. How old is that one?
Response: My old last keyboard needed some blast of air from time to time.
Response: It looks like your keyboard needs some cleaning, right now.
Response: %FIRST%, either your keyboard needs fixing or a new one.
Response: Fix that keyboard, NOW!
Response: I guess it's time for a NEW keyboard %FIRST%.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #62
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: QQQ
Alias: RRR
Alias: SSS
Alias: TTT
Alias: UUU
Alias: VVV
Response: Got a sticky key there, %FIRST%?
Response: Looks like you could use a new keyboard. One of your keys seem to be%CR%sticking.
Response: %FIRST%, it looks like you need to fix the keyboard there.
Response: %FIRST%, the keyboard isn't working there?
Response: %FIRST%, some sticky keys there?
Response: Must be a bad keyboard, %FIRST%. Can you fix it?
Response: %FIRST%, it looks like a faulty keyboard. Can it be fixed?
Response: %FIRST%, something isn't right with that keyboard. Can you fix it?
Response: Too many sticky keys %FIRST%. Maybe it's time to get a new one?
Response: Too many sticky keys %FIRST%, time to get a new one!
Response: A long time ago, I had a TRS-80 model 1 with a sticky keyboard.
Response: My goodness %FIRST%, that is a sticky keyboard.
Response: My old Apple IIE had a bad keyboard once.
Response: %FIRST%, Radio Shack sells good new keyboards <g>.
Response: %FIRST%, CDW has good deals on new keyboards now.
Response: %FIRST%, did you spill soda on your keyboard again?
Response: Back in college, we had a real bad keyboard.
Response: My old Kaypro II used to have sticky keys like that.
Response: %FIRST%, do you need some AirBlast for that bad keyboard?
Response: My goodness %FIRST%, it looks like that keyboard needs some fixin.
Response: Is that an old IBM PC Jr Keyboard %FIRST%?
Response: %FIRST%, my old TRS-80 model III used to have a bad keyboard too.
Response: %FIRST%, a few months ago, my keyboard stuck too. Try AirBlast.
Response: %FIRST%, Radio Shack has Airblast on sale now for that keyboard.
Response: I may have some extra AirBlast here for that sticky keyboard.
Response: %FIRST%, some keyboards need cleaning from time to time <g>.
Response: %FIRST%, can you fix that bad keyboard now?
Response: Some keyboards need Airblast from time to time. Do you have some there?
Response: %FIRST%, do you have some keyboard cleaner solution there?
Response: I see it's been a while since you last cleaned your keyboard!
Response: %FIRST%, I see that keyboard needs some cleaning, FAST!
Response: Some keyboards fail after a few months of use. How old is that one?
Response: My old last keyboard needed some blast of air from time to time.
Response: It looks like your keyboard needs some cleaning, right now.
Response: %FIRST%, either your keyboard needs fixing or a new one.
Response: Fix that keyboard, NOW!
Response: I guess it's time for a NEW keyboard %FIRST%.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #89
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: WWW
Alias: ,,
Alias: YYY
Response: Got a sticky key there, %FIRST%?
Response: Looks like you could use a new keyboard. One of your keys seem to be%CR%sticking.
Response: %FIRST%, it looks like you need to fix the keyboard there.
Response: %FIRST%, the keyboard isn't working there?
Response: %FIRST%, some sticky keys there?
Response: Must be a bad keyboard, %FIRST%. Can you fix it?
Response: %FIRST%, it looks like a faulty keyboard. Can it be fixed?
Response: %FIRST%, something isn't right with that keyboard. Can you fix it?
Response: Too many sticky keys %FIRST%. Maybe it's time to get a new one?
Response: Too many sticky keys %FIRST%, time to get a new one!
Response: A long time ago, I had a TRS-80 model 1 with a sticky keyboard.
Response: My goodness %FIRST%, that is a sticky keyboard.
Response: My old Apple IIE had a bad keyboard once.
Response: %FIRST%, Radio Shack sells good new keyboards <g>.
Response: %FIRST%, CDW has good deals on new keyboards now.
Response: %FIRST%, did you spill soda on your keyboard again?
Response: Back in college, we had a real bad keyboard.
Response: My old Kaypro II used to have sticky keys like that.
Response: %FIRST%, do you need some AirBlast for that bad keyboard?
Response: My goodness %FIRST%, it looks like that keyboard needs some fixin.
Response: Is that an old IBM PC Jr Keyboard %FIRST%?
Response: %FIRST%, my old TRS-80 model III used to have a bad keyboard too.
Response: %FIRST%, a few months ago, my keyboard stuck too. Try Airblast.
Response: %FIRST%, Radio Shack has AirBlast on sale now for that keyboard.
Response: I may have some extra Airblast here for that sticky keyboard.
Response: %FIRST%, some keyboards need cleaning from time to time <g>.
Response: %FIRST%, can you fix that bad keyboard now?
Response: Some keyboards need AirBlast from time to time. Do you have some there?
Response: %FIRST%, do you have some keyboard cleaner solution there?
Response: I see it's been a while since you last cleaned your keyboard!
Response: %FIRST%, I see that keyboard needs some cleaning, FAST!
Response: Some keyboards fail after a few months of use. How old is that one?
Response: My old last keyboard needed some blast of air from time to time.
Response: It looks like your keyboard needs some cleaning, right now.
Response: %FIRST%, either your keyboard needs fixing or a new one.
Response: Fix that keyboard, NOW!
Response: I guess it's time for a NEW keyboard %FIRST%.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #2
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: /S
Response: ERROR!!! %KEYWORD-U% does not compute.
Response: Wrong command! Hahahahahah
Response: That's not a valid command, please try again.
Response: Why are you entering an invalid command? Give it another try!
Response: %FIRST%, I don't think that's a valid entry.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #2
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: /Q
Alias: /E
Alias: /BYE
Alias: /QUIT
Alias: /END
Response: ERROR!!! %KEYWORD-U% does not compute.  (Try "BYE"..)
Response: Wrong command, Try "BYE".
Response: You might want to try "BYE".
Response: %FIRST%, you may want to try "BYE"
Response: %FIRST%, why not try "BYE"
Response: %FIRST%, I usually type "BYE" to leave.
Response: You should type "BYE" to leave.
Response: %FIRST%, typing in "BYE" gets you out of here.
Response: I usually type in the word "BYE" to leave.
Response: Typing in the word "BYE" gets you out of here now.
Response: %FIRST%, that's NOT a valid command to leave here. Try "BYE".
Response: Last time, I typed "BYE" to leave this area.
Response: %SFIRST%, the Sysop, usually types in "BYE" to get out of here.
Response: Why not try "BYE" to leave here?!?
Response: Hmmm, %FIRST%, you should try typing in "BYE" to leave here.
Response: I tried typing in "BYE" last time to leave here.
Response: %FIRST%, use the word "BYE" to leave here.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #3
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: ACCESS
Alias: VALIDATE
Response: %KEYWORD-M% THIS!
Response: %FIRST%, access to what? Your bank account?
Response: %FIRST%, what kind of access are you looking for?
Response: %FIRST%, access to what? This system?
Response: Press [Alt] H now for FREE unlimited access!
Response: Unlimited access %FIRST%? Why that's section <R> from the main menu.
Response: %FIRST%, I might consider more access if you change your %PASSWORD%.
Response: More access, more access... all I ever hear is "I want more access"!
Response: Unlimited access. Is that what you want %FIRST%?
Response: You want more access? Sure - hit [Alt] H now.
Response: %FIRST%, how much MORE access do you want? See section <R> now.
Response: Access? To what? Downloads, Chat, Games or what?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #4
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: ADULT
Alias: " GIF"
Alias: X-RATED
Alias: XXX
Response: We're a GP rated system, though adults ages 25-80 call here.
Response: %FIRST%, this is a GP rated BBS. What were you looking for?
Response: %FIRST%, not here, but try another BBS listed in section <A>.
Response: There's plenty of Adult BBS's in the area. Try Compu-Erotica.
Response: Sorry %FIRST%, but no adult areas here.
Response: %FIRST%, sorry, no adult GIF areas here. We're a PG rated system.
Response: %FIRST%, lots of adult BBS's got busted last year.
Response: %FIRST%, though we're a GP rated system, adults do call here.
Response: Sorry, no XXX stuff on this BBS.
Response: Sorry %FIRST%, but we're NOT an XXX rated system. Strictly GP.
Response: Were you looking to chat with other adults? Try <C>hat areas.
Response: %FIRST%, what ages of adults were you looking for?
Response: %FIRST%, we're mostly a PG rated system with adults ages 25-80 online.
Response: Sure, we get adults ages 25-80 online here.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #5
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: ALWAYS
Alias: FOREVER
Response: I always say, "Never say always."
Response: There's no such thing as always, %FIRST%.
Response: %FIRST%, "Never say always." That might get you in trouble <g>.
Response: %FIRST%, at my last wedding I said "Always". Bad mistake.
Response: Always is like forever, too far into the future.
Response: %FIRST%, there's no such thing as always. Not in this lifetime!
Response: %FIRST%, never commit to always. It's bound to get you into trouble.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #6
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: ANNOY
Alias: BOTHER
Alias: HASSLE
Response: Sysops and their helpers are never annoyed <g>.
Response: I don't get bothered easily. At least not till after 10pm.
Response: %FIRST%, not too much bothers me, except non-paying callers.
Response: What? Me bothered? Never!
Response: I was annoyed by some teachers in school once.
Response: Some 'back seat' drivers bother me sometimes.
Response: %FIRST%, what bothers you the most?
Response: Some caller bothered me last month with dropped carriers.
Response: ME? I've not been annoyed since last week. How about you?
Response: %FIRST%, is someone bothering you here on the system now?
Response: %FIRST%, were you annoyed here recently? If so, by whom?
Response: If I have my several cups of coffee, I'm not annoyed then.
Response: %FIRST%, has a caller been bothering you here lately?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #7
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: " ASS "
Alias: ASSHOLE
Response: A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste!
Response: %FIRST%, my goodness. Who are we talking about?
Response: I prefer the word "donkey".
Response: Not here, please. This is a PG rated BBS.
Response: Nobody likes a smart ASS, %FIRST%!
Response: You're making quite an %KEYWORD% out of yourself, %FIRST%.
Response: We had a few last month mucking up the system.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #8
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: AWESOME
Alias: " DUDE "
Alias: BITCHIN
Alias: COOL
Alias: SURF
Response: "%KEYWORD%", huh? You have a great vocabulary, %FIRST%.
Response: Bodacious!
Response: Come back in 10 years when you're all grown up!
Response: Fer shure...
Response: Gag me with a spoon!
Response: Gnarly!
Response: Radical!
Response: Silence is golden. So shut up and get rich!
Response: That's the problem with the gene pool - no lifeguard.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #9
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: BBS
Response: I could've BBS'ed all %TIMEOFDAY-L%..
Response: No, BBS doesn't stand for "Big Black Stud"!
Response: What's this "BBS" thing you keep talking about, %FIRST%?
Response: You don't like it here %FIRST%, call the Onyx BBS!
Response: You mean this BBS?
Response: %FIRST%, whose BBS are you talking about?
Response: BBS, that's Bullletin Bored System. %FIRST%, is that what you mean?
Response: %FIRST%, too many BBS's now. Don't you agree?
Response: Did you know that the world's first BBS, CBBS, is no longer running?
Response: %FIRST%, have you been calling BBS's long?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #10
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: " BITCH "
Response: Bitch! Bitch! Bitch!
Response: Life's a bitch, isn't it, %FIRST%?
Response: What do female dogs have to do with this?
Response: Life's a bitch, and then we die. Right?
Response: My ex-wife used to bitch all the time! Are you married?
Response: Some callers here bitch all the time. Should I delete them?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #11
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: " BLOW "
Alias: BLOWS
Response: There she blows!
Response: Opps. Not here.
Response: The wind blows at night softly. Where did I hear that?
Response: 'The answer my friend, is blowing in the wind.'
Response: %FIRST%, if the wind blows just right around here, we're DEAD!
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #12
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: BOARD
Response: Did you mean to say "board" or "bored"?
Response: The source code is on drive D:
Response: This is just your typical entertainment board.
Response: %FIRST%, did you mean "bored" or "board"?
Response: %FIRST%, if you mean "bored", I get that way too sometimes.
Response: "Board"? Yes! It's the right Board.
Response: %FIRST%, do you mean BBS, Bulletin Board System?
Response: BBS? Yes! %FIRST%, you've called the right place!
Response: %FIRST%, are you talking about your typical peg board?
Response: %FIRST%, what board are you talking about?
Response: We're not on Syslink any more, are we?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #13
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: BYTES
Response: No, this not Blazin' Bytes BBS. They're out west.
Response: %FIRST%, are you talking about computer BYTES?
Response: Are we talking about BITES or BYTES here?
Response: Yes! we have about 16 megaBYTES of main memory here.
Response: %FIRST%, what kind of BYTES are we talking about here?
Response: How many BYTES do you have %FIRST%?
Response: We have about 14 TeraBYTES here on the system.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #14
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: BUSY
Response: As a freakin' bee...
Response: I think you need call-waiting, %FIRST%.
Response: That's weird - I never get a busy signal here!
Response: That's why they invented auto-redial, please try again.
Response: Try calling from another phone, %FIRST%.
Response: Well, if you'd just get a life %FIRST%, you could be busy too!
Response: %FIRST%, I'm always busy here. How about you?
Response: %FIRST%, are you talking about busy lines or what?
Response: I was BUSY backuping up drives. What were you doing %FIRST%?
Response: BUSY? Who's BUSY? %FIRST%, are you busy?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #15
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: " CAN "
Response: I'd rather talk about something else.
Response: If I knew, I wouldn't tell you, %FIRST%.
Response: Not this %TIMEOFDAY-L%.
Response: Sure.
Response: Why not?
Response: %FIRST%, I'd rather talk about something else at this time.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #16
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: CHAT
Response: %FIRST%, there's lots of chatters here evenings.
Response: Sure I like to chat.
Response: Sometimes I have no one to chat with.
Response: I'm really tired now, so can we chat later?
Response: Yes! This chat is real!
Response: %FIRST%, lets chat later. I've got to finish some work here.
Response: %FIRST%, can we chat later?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #17
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: " COCK"
Alias: " DICK"
Alias: " PRICK "
Response: Gee, how did we start talking about that?
Response: %FIRST%, I've got someone looking over my shoulder now. Cool it!
Response: Not getting enough lately?
Response: %FIRST%, I guess some of us are more endowed then others.
Response: After 40, it's all down hill.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #18
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: COMPUTER
Alias: " PC "
Alias: MACHINE
Response: At least you never owe alimony to a %KEYWORD-L%.
Response: %FIRST%, we have PC's here.
Response: Can you talk in machine language, 00011001110,  %FIRST%?
Response: I used to know a computer named HAL a long time ago. Is he still around?
Response: No, this is a real live human being you are chatting with, %FIRST%.
Response: Shut up about %KEYWORD-L%s already %FIRST%. I'm sick of them!
Response: %FIRST%, we used to have a TRS-80 Model 1 computer. Remember them?
Response: That does not compute.
Response: Are you interested in computers?
Response: %FIRST%, we have several PC's here.
Response: %FIRST%, which computer are you talking about?
Response: Why %FIRST%, I'm not a computer program. Please don't again.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #19
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: " COST"
Alias: CHARGE
Alias: MONEY
Alias: SUBSCRI
Response: Sure it costs money! What were you looking to spend?
Response: How much did you make last year, %FIRST%? We accept anything!
Response: %FIRST%, subscription costs are in section <R>.
Response: Send me your first-born son - I'll see what I can do.
Response: Well, it's cheaper than those 1-900 numbers you call!
Response: %FIRST%, we gladly accept donations. Send it right in.
Response: Money, Money, Money! Let's change the subject, OK?
Response: %FIRST%, we accept cash, checks and plastic.
Response: %FIRST%, the cost isn't that much?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #20
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: " CUNT "
Alias: PUSSY
Alias: TWAT
Response: Can't spell "vagina", huh?
Response: %FIRST%, some are really bad!
Response: %FIRST%, why are we talking about body parts now?
Response: Every woman has one. What's the problem?
Response: %FIRST%, every woman has one. Is there a problem here?
Response: Life is a bitch... then you marry one.
Response: %FIRST%, I'm tired discussing my body part. Let's change the subject!
Response: Is there a fixation problem today %FIRST%?
Response: Please! No more talk of that now, or I may disconnect you.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #21
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: " CUTE"
Response: I'm cute! Are you?
Response: %FIRST%, I looked in the mirror too.
Response: %FIRST%, are you cute?
Response: My life's ambition... to go beyond CUTE!
Response: Yeah. You're cute too, %FIRST%!
Response: Beth is real cute.
Response: Other children used to say I was cute even then.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #22
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: " DOOR"
Response: Ah! The Doors! C'mon Baby, Light My Fire!
Response: Don't look now, but YOUR barn door's open!
Response: I think you have to run Windows for that.
Response: The Ferengi destroyed all the doors yesterday %TIMEOFDAY-L%..
Response: %FIRST%, sorry, we don't do doors now.
Response: %FIRST%, that door is under repair now. Check back later.
Response: %FIRST%, that door is closed now, sorry.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #23
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: DOWNLOAD
Alias: " D-L"
Alias: " D/L"
Alias: " DL "
Alias: DOWN LOAD
Alias: DOWN-LOAD
Response: %KEYWORD% THIS!
Response: Does your computer have a [Page Up] key? Have you located it yet?
Response: Hit [Alt] H now to get to the Files Menu.
Response: I tried every channel this %TIMEOFDAY-L%. I couldn't find any good programs!
Response: Maybe if you tried uploading something WORTHWHILE for a change.
Response: %FIRST%, are you using Telix or Procomm?
Response: %FIRST%, try uploading more than %ULTOT% bytes worth of files.
Response: You want a good program, read TV Guide.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #24
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: DUMB
Alias: STUPID
Response: Hey, it's YOUR dime, %FIRST%, not mine...
Response: So?
Response: Why?
Response: %FIRST%, are you asking me?
Response: %FIRST%, why ask?
Response: Ok, why ask me?
Response: %FIRST%, why are you asking me about it?
Response: %FIRST%, I'm not an Airhead. Just learning the ropes.
Response: I'm learning the ropes now, so don't treat me like an Airhead. Ok?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #26
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: ELIZA
Response: No, this not Eliza.
Response: %FIRST%, who's this Eliza?
Response: %FIRST%, I think Eliza workled here a while back.
Response: Who's Eliza. Am I supposed to know her?
Response: I knew an Eliza once. Why do you ask?
Response: No, this is NOT that idiot Eliza program!
Response: Yes, Eliza! She used to work here a while back. Why do you ask?
Response: Eliza is not here anymore. Why do you ask %FIRST%?
Response: Beth is NOT Eliza, wake up %FIRST%!
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #27
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: " FILE"
Response: Yes, we have files!
Response: File? What kind would you like? Rasp? Nail file?
Response: Mike Tyson called today looking for files too.
Response: Sheeet! You already have more files than I do, %FIRST%!
Response: Yeah, we have LOTS of files here. Are you looking for more?
Response: %FIRST%, which files?
Response: %FIRST%, we have lot's of files here. Are looking for something?
Response: %FIRST%, that's in the <D>ownload section.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #28
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: FRIENDLY
Response: %FIRST%, yes, I'm friendly.
Response: We're all friendly around here. Check out <C>hat.
Response: Well, thanks, %FIRST%.
Response: %FIRST%, why thanks!
Response: You've called a friendly place. Stay a while.
Response: Why, I'm friendly all the time %FIRST%. You're friendly too?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #29
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: FUCK
Response: %FIRST%, not now. I have a headache.
Response: My goodness! What language we use.
Response: Not here and not now.
Response: Cool it, there's someone looking over my shoulder.
Response: %FIRST%, where did you learn that, on another BBS?
Response: Did you mean procreate?
Response: %FIRST%, this is a PG system. Let's not use such language.
Response: Nice mouth!
Response: %FIRST%, maybe another time. I'm tired from last night.
Response: %FIRST%, I can't right now. It's that time of the month.
Response: %FIRST%, can't right now. I have that bad headache again.
Response: %FIRST%, I don't think so.
Response: %FIRST%, I've been known to disconnect a line for bad language.
Response: %FIRST%, such language! It's time to hangup now. %HANGUP%
Response: Such language! Let's reset your modem !! %HANGUP%
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #30
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: FUNNY
Alias: HA HA
Alias: HAHA
Alias: JOKE
Alias: LAFF
Alias: LAUGH
Response: Funny stuff, huh?
Response: Quit it! You're killing me!
Response: So you think that's funny, huh?
Response: Sometimes I kill myself!
Response: What a sense of humor...
Response: You think that's funny? Try the Humor message area!
Response: My parents thought I looked funny at birth!
Response: %FIRST%, tell me something funny.
Response: %FIRST%, I'd like to hear something funny.
Response: I like to laugh a lot too.
Response: The doctor always said that laughing was the best medicine.
Response: Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you, right?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #31
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: " GAME"
Response: The Ferengi destroyed all my games yesterday %TIMEOFDAY-L%..
Response: Games! Try the <F>un & Games section.
Response: %FIRST%, what kind of game?
Response: We have lots of games here. What are you looking for?
Response: %FIRST%, we have lots of online games and downloads here.
Response: %FIRST%, what kind of game did you have in mind?
Response: I don't like Mind Games, do you?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #32
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: GIRL
Alias: BROAD
Response: %FIRST%, which girl?
Response: %FIRST%, I was a girl once. But that was a long time ago.
Response: %FIRST%, girls just wanna have fun, right?
Response: There's quite a few online evenings. Why you ask %FIRST%?
Response: %FIRST%, I think the girls channel is 19.
Response: The world needs lots of good girls, not bad girls, right?
Response: Did you chat with one here recently?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #33
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: GOODBYE
Alias: " TTY"
Alias: BYE
Alias: GOOD BY
Alias: OUT OF HERE
Alias: SEE YA
Response: Aw gee... and I thought we were having so much fun?
Response: Going somewhere %FIRST%?
Response: Good Buy? Do you have something to sell?
Response: Don't you want to chat some more %FIRST%?
Response: Not yet, I'm not finished with you %FIRST%.
Response: %FIRST%, leaving so soon?
Response: %FIRST%, what's the hurry? Leaving so soon?
Response: Leaving so soon %FIRST%?
Response: %FIRST%, I may have questions for you later? Come back soon!
Response: %FIRST%, nothing more to say now? See you later.
Response: Well, thanks for the time to chat. See you later %FIRST%!
Response: %FIRST%, thanks again for the time to chit chat!
Response: %FIRST%, it was fun chatting with you. Come back soon.
Response: I always have a good time chatting with you %FIRST%. See you soon.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #34
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: HELLO
Alias: " HI "
Alias: " YO "
Response: Hello %FIRST%.
Response: I already said hello %FIRST%... what's the matter with you???
Response: I don't usually give greetings in the %TIMEOFDAY-L%!
Response: %FIRST%, hello. Didn't I say that once before?
Response: Hi %FIRST%! What's up?
Response: %FIRST%, HI! We can start chatting now.
Response: Hello %FIRST%, and what's going on there?
Response: Didn't I say hello a while back?
Response: Hello.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #35
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: HELP
Alias: "/?"
Alias: "/H"
Response: "Help" - one of my favorite Beatles tunes...
Response: God helps those who help themselves.
Response: How much is it worth to you?
Response: %FIRST%, what kind of help did you need?
Response: Sorry, %SFIRST% is on vacation for a few days. Try <H>elp.
Response: Sorry, you've already used your quota of help today, %FIRST%.
Response: You must be joking!
Response: You're beyond help, %FIRST%.
Response: %FIRST%, did you see the <H>elp section yet?
Response: %FIRST%, hang on while I ask the answer guy, OK?
Response: %FIRST%, help is currently $25 an hour. But for you, it's only $19.95
Response: Sorry %FIRST%, help is offered between 2am & 6am. Try back then.
Response: %FIRST%, press ALT H now for the help menu.
Response: %FIRST%, I only work part-time here, so can't help now.
Response: What kind of help did you need %FIRST%?
Response: HELP, HELP, HELP! That's all callers want anymore.
Response: %FIRST%, isn't that the title to a Beatles tune and album?
Response: %FIRST%, help for who? You or me?
Response: Why %FIRST%, I didn't know you needed help. Please explain.
Response: Sorry %FIRST%, but you've used up your quota of help today.
Response: Getting help these days isn't easy. Want to help %FIRST%?
Response: Leave mail to the Sysop for help. I only work here part time.
Response: %FIRST%, trying pressing ALT H from the main menu for help.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #36
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: HMM
Response: Hmm a little tune for me...
Response: I know you're thinking, %FIRST%... I can smell the brain cells%CR%burning...
Response: What's wrong %FIRST%? Your brain has an interrupt conflict?
Response: %FIRST%, are we going to think out loud now?
Response: Hmm, I was thinking the same thing.
Response: %FIRST%, Hmm a nice tune for me. Ok?
Response: %FIRST%, are going to chat, sing, or think now?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #37
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: HOBBY
Response: HOBBY??? You think I do this for a living???
Response: %FIRST%, you think I do this as a hobby?
Response: This is no hobby for me %FIRST%. But it is fun chatting with you.
Response: I have lot's of hobbies. What are yours %FIRST%?
Response: %FIRST%, I used to collect fountain pens as a hobby once.
Response: %FIRST%, what's your hobby or vice?
Response: Stamps, coins, beer cans. What hobbies do you have %FIRST%?
Response: %FIRST%, some people raise rattle snakes. What's your hobby?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #38
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: " HOSER "
Response: Some of my best friends are hosers!
Response: %FIRST%, some of my best school friends are hosers.
Response: What's a hoser %FIRST%?
Response: %FIRST%, hosers! Who are they?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #39
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: " HOW"
Response: %FIRST%, I'm not sure I know that answer.
Response: Don't ask me, ask %SFIRST%, the Sysop.
Response: How now, brown cow? What am I talking about now?
Response: How? Are you some kinda Injun or something?
Response: How? What was the question again?
Response: How? Let me get the answer guys in here. Hang on.
Response: %FIRST%, let me call the answer guys here. They might know.
Response: %FIRST%, that's going to cost extra. Can you pay?
Response: %FIRST%, I'm not really sure right now. Ask me again later.
Response: Didn't you ask me this question last time?
Response: %FIRST%, I'll have to find out how, later.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #40
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: HUMAN
Response: Hunan? No, I prefer Szechuan.
Response: Sure I'm human. I just think like a computer.
Response: %FIRST%, sure I'm human. Were you expecting Eliza?
Response: %FIRST%, Eliza doesn't work here anymore. I'm human.
Response: %FIRST%, let's talk about something else, ok?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #41
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: I'
Alias: " ME "
Response: But what about MY feelings, %FIRST%?
Response: Can't you talk about anything besides yourself?
Response: Don't you have anything INTERESTING to talk about, %FIRST%?
Response: Me, me, me... do you live in front of your mirror?
Response: Me, me, me... is that all anyone ever thinks about?
Response: What would you like me to do this %TIMEOFDAY-L% to make you feel happy, %FIRST%?
Response: Who cares about me as a person, anyway?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #42
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: INSULT
Response: I resent that remark!
Response: Will Rogers obviously never met you, did he?
Response: Would I insult my 832nd favorite user?
Response: %FIRST%, what insult?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #44
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: LEGAL
Response: Everything's legal, until you get caught.
Response: I don't know. Try asking the Sysop, %SFIRST%.
Response: %FIRST%, I suppose it's legal. But better ask the Sysop, %SFIRST%.
Response: %FIRST%, we hire lawyers for the legal stuff.
Response: %FIRST%, until you get caught, I suppose everything's legal.
Response: In this state, I thought 18 was legal.
Response: Maybe it's legal south of the border?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #45
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: " LICK "
Response: %FIRST%, I used to lick a lot of postage stamps at my old job.
Response: Lick what? Please explain %FIRST%.
Response: My tongue is sore now. Let's talk about something else now.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #46
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: MAIL
Alias: " MSG"
Response: Ask your mailman.
Response: Beats the hell out of the Post Office, doesn't it?
Response: Mail, you mean Email? I think you may have some Email waiting.
Response: Too cheap to buy a lousy postage stamp?
Response: You want mail %FIRST%? Try SENDING some ..
Response: Email is in section <E>.
Response: %FIRST%, what kind of email are we talking about?
Response: Internet Email? Why that's in section <E><1>.
Response: The mailman delivers it here around 11am each day.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #47
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: MAYBE
Alias: PERHAPS
Response: %KEYWORD%? Doing your George Bush wimp imitation again?
Response: %KEYWORD%? Jeez, what a decisive person you are!
Response: And %KEYWORD-L% not? Aww gee.
Response: No two ways about it, right %FIRST%?
Response: When I say %KEYWORD-L%, it usually means NO!
Response: %FIRST%, maybe depends on the time of day you ask.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #48
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: MODEM
Response: Modem? Like in, "I wan' mo' dem chitlins"?
Response: The only thing around here with a dual standard is the SysOp!
Response: %FIRST%, are we talking about your modem or mine?
Response: The highest speed modem here is 28.8. Are you ready for ISDN?
Response: %FIRST%, I only work here part time. Don't know much about modems.
Response: This modem isn't working so good today.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #49
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: MOOD
Response: Actually, I'm in one of my better moods this %TIMEOFDAY-L%.
Response: Don't mind me. I'm always like this in the %TIMEOFDAY-L%.
Response: My mood will improve when this chat gets going.
Response: You should see me when I'm in a bad mood.
Response: %FIRST%, now that you ask, I'm in a good mood. How about you?
Response: My moods change with whom I'm chatting.
Response: %FIRST%, this %TIMEOFDAY-L% I'm in a good mode.
Response: %FIRST%, you know how mood swings go, don't you?
Response: %FIRST%, I'm actually in a bad mood now. Can we chat later?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #50
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: MOTHER
Alias: " MA "
Alias: " MAMA"
Alias: " MOM"
Response: Did you know Mother's Day is the biggest holiday of the year in Harlem?
Response: My Mom died a few years ago.
Response: %FIRST%, why are we talking about Mom? Is it Mother's Day already?
Response: Are we talking about your Mom or mine?
Response: Good old Mom. She's always there to listen to our troubles.
Response: I'd rather not talk about Mom now. May she rest in peace.
Response: %FIRST%, can we talk about something else now, Ok?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #51
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: " MY "
Response: My my my...
Response: When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.
Response: You really have a point there. Wear a hat and it won't show.
Response: %FIRST%, can we talk about something else now. Is that OK?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #52
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: NEVER
Response: Never say never...
Response: Never say never when you're out of jail.
Response: I never said that!
Response: %FIRST%, are you sure?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #53
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: " NO "
Alias: " NAH "
Alias: " NOPE "
Response: Maybe later.
Response: No.
Response: Yes!
Response: Maybe
Response: Why not?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #54
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: " NOT"
Response: Are you just being negative?
Response: I disagree.
Response: %FIRST%, I disagree with that.
Response: %FIRST%, why so negative today?
Response: Why are you being so negative today?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #55
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: NPD
Response: NPD? ...hmmm... you mean Nick's Police Department???
Response: Sure, lots... but you can't have any!!!
Response: What does this look like? Some kind of pirate board?
Response: You want pirated stuff, call Captain Hook!
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #56
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: " OLD "
Response: Old enough to know now.
Response: Old enough to know better.
Response: Older than the hills.
Response: How old?
Response: I'll never tell my age.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #57
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: PIRATE
Response: Ask Peter Pan.
Response: The last guy who asked that had to walk the plank!
Response: The last guy who asked that was keel-hauled!
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #58
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: " PISS"
Response: It's better to be pissed off than pissed on!
Response: You think YOU'RE pissed!
Response: %FIRST%, are you pissed?
Response: I only get pissed when stupid pets do stupid things.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #59
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: POSSIBLE
Response: Anything's possible.
Response: Not likely.
Response: Possible... but not probable.
Response: %FIRST%, why anything's possible. What did you have in mind?
Response: Maybe.
Response: %FIRST%, possible, maybe.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #60
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: PRIVATE
Response: There are no Private's here.
Response: If I told you, it wouldn't be very private, now, would it?
Response: No, but you can have access to the lieutenant areas.
Response: What does this look like? Some kind of pirate board?
Response: You want pirated stuff, call Captain Hook!
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #61
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: PROGRAM
Response: I tried every channel this %TIMEOFDAY-L%. I couldn't find any good programs!
Response: My favorite program used to be the "Beverly Hillbillies". What's yours?
Response: To get good programs around here, you need cable.
Response: You want a good program, read TV Guide.
Response: %FIRST%, you want a file or program?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #63
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: QUESTION
Response: Questions. All %TIMEOFDAY-L%, nothing but questions.
Response: What makes you think I know the answer?
Response: Don Pardo of Jeopardy used to know all the questions.
Response: %FIRST%, don't have much time for questions now. Maybe later.
Response: %FIRST%, any reason I should know the answer?
Response: %FIRST%, please repeat the question again.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #64
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: " REAL "
Response: Of course I'm real! Eliza retired a while back.
Response: %FIRST%, are we discussing virtual reality again?
Response: Real, like "real cool", right?
Response: Real or reel? Please clarify.
Response: %FIRST%, why do you keep asking me that? Of course I'm real.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #65
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: REGIST
Response: %FILE[REGISTER.TXT]%
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #67
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: SCUMBAG
Alias: " CONDOM "
Alias: SCUM BAG
Response: Remember when safe sex meant locking the car door?
Response: Yes, I believe in safe sex too!
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #68
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: SEX
Response: Computer sex is nothing compared to the real thing.
Response: %FIRST%, not here and not now.
Response: Remember when safe sex meant locking the car door?
Response: Sex is ok at the right time.
Response: %FIRST%, remember when sex was safe ??
Response: Is this what it's all about?
Response: These days, you can't be too careful.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #70
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: SHIT
Alias: CRAP
Alias: TURD
Response: A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste!
Response: Are you feeling lucky, %FIRST%?
Response: If this was virtual reality, You'd be in TROUBLE!
Response: Nice mouth!
Response: Nice talk, garbage-mouth.
Response: Nothing that a little Ex-Lax won't cure.
Response: You seem to have a solid waste fixation, %FIRST%.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #71
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: SLEEP
Alias: ZZZ
Response: I am asleep. Some people walk in their sleep, I type in my sleep.
Response: Who can sleep at this hour?
Response: I think I need some sleep now. Let's chat later, Ok?
Response: I need about 5 hours of sleep. How about you?
Response: %FIRST%, working part-time here, I don't get much sleep.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #72
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: SMART
Response: Smarter than the average bear.
Response: Smart? Who's smart?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #73
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: SORRY
Response: Apology accepted. Just don't let it happen again %FIRST%!
Response: Sorry? No, I prefer backgammon, myself...
Response: You should feel sorry for me.
Response: You're not kidding - you're really sorry, aren't you?
Response: You're sorry all right...
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #74
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: SPEED
Response: Slow down and smell the flowers!
Response: Speed kills!
Response: Speed? No, I think you need downers...
Response: It's still 55 on the road, right?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #75
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: STRANGE
Alias: CRAZY
Alias: WEIRD
Response: How so?
Response: The whole concept is a little %KEYWORD-L%, don't you think?
Response: What's so %KEYWORD-L% about it?
Response: You're %KEYWORD-L% too, %FIRST%. I like that in a person!
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #76
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: SUCK
Response: IBM also sucks, who cares?
Response: PC Bored also sucks, come to think of it.
Response: %FIRST%, it's been a rough day here. Let's change the subject,Ok?
Response: I'm really not in the mood for this now.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #77
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: SYSOP
Response: I'm not the Sysop, %SFIRST% is.
Response: %FIRST%, did you already chat with %SFIRST% today?
Response: He's not here now. Please leave Email.
Response: %FIRST%, do you want to be a Sysop?
Response: SysOp? What the heck is this thing you call "SysOp"?
Response: Try him after 6pm.
Response: You want to be a SysOp??? You have my blessings.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #78
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: THANK
Response: Any time...
Response: It was nothing.
Response: You're welcome.
Response: Always glad to help out.
Response: %FIRST%, it was nothing.
Response: You're quite welcome.
Response: I'm always happy to help out when I can.
Response: %FIRST%, think nothing of it. Glad to help out.
Response: You're welcome. But it's time for me to go now. Bye ... %EXIT%
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #79
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: " TIME"
Response: All everybody wants is more time, more time, more time.
Response: Geez, that's funny. I never run out of time here.
Response: If your modem was faster than %BPS% baud, you wouldn't NEED more time...
Response: Mike Tyson wishes he had spent LESS time!
Response: Time's fun when you're having to do this.
Response: Time. That's a magazine, isn't it?
Response: Time? I have %CTIME%, what does your watch say?
Response: Try spending some money on a faster modem. That will save time!
Response: What would you do with it if I gave you more time?
Response: There's never enough time to do the things you want, right?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #80
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: " TYPE "
Response: I went to the "Hunt & Peck" school for typists.
Response: Yeah, I type fast... for a beginner.
Response: Don't type so fast!
Response: My typing is so bad, is it %FIRST%?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #81
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: UPLOAD
Alias: " U-L"
Alias: " U/L"
Alias: " UL "
Alias: UP LOAD
Alias: UP-LOAD
Response: No thank you. I already have Autoexec.Bat & Config.Sys
Response: Sure. And the check is in the mail too, right %FIRST%?
Response: Try uploading some business files. We need them!
Response: Your last batch of uploads got lost. Please try again.
Response: %FIRST%, that's the <D><Y> section.
Response: %FIRST%, before you upload, make sure it's shareware stuff,Ok?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #82
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: WANT
Response: Want, want, want... geez slow down a little. It's the 90's now, not the%CR%"me-first" 80's.
Response: %FIRST%, it's not the 1980's anymore.
Response: Want what? Please explain, Ok?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #83
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: WHEN
Response: After dinner.
Response: Never.
Response: Next Tuesday %TIMEOFDAY-L%.
Response: Tomorrow.
Response: When Hell turns to Lime Jello.
Response: When the rivers run dry.
Response: Whenever...
Response: %FIRST%, I'm not sure when.
Response: After lunch.
Response: I'll have to check with the boss man.
Response: Maybe never.
Response: You want it when?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #84
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: WHERE
Response: I'm not sure where.
Response: In jail.
Response: In the bathroom.
Response: Somewhere over the rainbow.
Response: I'll need to ask the answer guys where.
Response: %FIRST%, I'm not sure where it's at anymore.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #85
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: WHO
Response: And who are YOU, %FIRST%?
Response: I give up, who?
Response: I'll give you three guesses.
Response: Stop with the "Who" already! You sound like a freakin' owl!
Response: Ok %FIRST%, I give up, who?
Response: %FIRST%, we're talking about you, right?
Response: I don't know, who?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #86
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: WHY
Response: Because that's the way it is.
Response: Did you just ask me why? Why?
Response: Sometimes there is no reason. Shit Happens.
Response: Why not?
Response: Why? Because we like you! Ask M-I-C-K-E-Y.
Response: I have no idea why.
Response: %FIRST%, I have no idea why it happens.
Response: Hang on! I'll ask the answer guys why.
Response: %FIRST%, sometimes Shit Happens, and there is no reason why.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #87
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: LISTEN
Response: Why %FIRST%, I always listen to you <g>.
Response: %FIRST%, most people tell me I listen very good.
Response: I'm listening now. What did you say?
Response: %FIRST%, are you listening to me?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #88
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: WORK
Response: A penny earned is cheap labor.
Response: But have you ever heard of someone working too hard?
Response: It only works when you're not looking.
Response: Nothing from IBM works.
Response: Ouch!!! The "W" word!
Response: There isn't much around working this %TIMEOFDAY-L%, that's for sure...
Response: Work is the curse of the partying class!
Response: Work?!? WATCH your language %FIRST%!
Response: Yeah, ask the Sysop about work...
Response: Yeah, I work here, only part time.
Response: %FIRST%, are you looking for work?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #90
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: YES
Alias: YEAH
Alias: YEP
Alias: YUP
Response: %KEYWORD%? Are you THAT easy?
Response: I forgot the question. What were we talking about?
Response: That's "si" to you. You must be in South Florida now!
Response: That's easy for you to say, %FIRST%.
Response: %FIRST%, that's easy for you to say.
Response: %FIRST%, I don't remember the question. Please explain.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #91
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;Keyword: SHELL
;Response: %DOTBBS 1 C:\CONFIG.SYS%
;Response: %DOTBBS 1 C:\AUTOEXEC.BAT%
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                  KEY WORD #92
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: YOUR NAME
Response: I'll give you a hint... it's not %FIRST% (thank God!)
Response: My name Jose Jimenez. What's yours?
Response: My name is Beth, but you may call me "Your Royal Chatter".
Response: OK, OK! I lied! My name is really Beth Burns!
Response: Tell me your REAL name, and maybe I'll tell you mine.
Response: What's the matter, you can't read?
Response: %FIRST%, what's in a name anyway?
Response: %FIRST%, who's name would you like?
Response: I once had a lizard named Josie. Do you have any pets?
;--------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                 KEY WORD #93
;--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: AIRHEAD
Response: %FIRST%, I'm not an Airhead! Are you?
Response: Sometimes I can talk like one, but I'm not really.
Response: %FIRST%, why are you calling me names already?
Response: Let's not talk about me. Let's talk about you, Ok?
Response: My 8th grade teacher was an Airhead.
;-------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                 KEY Word #94
;------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: PET
Alias: PETS
Alias: CAT
Response: I used to have a pet rabbit once, but it died.
Response: %FIRST%, do you like pets?
Response: I'm not into pets anymore since my pet lizard died a few years ago.
Response: %FIRST%, apparently you like pets. Tell me about them.
Response: Do you work in a pet store?
Response: Can we change the subject to something else besides pets?
Response: I'm think I'm allergic to cats now.
Response: %FIRST%, cats are strange animals.
Response: If you could have any pet %FIRST%, what would it be?
;-------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                 KEY Word #95
;------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: BABBLE
Response: %FIRST%, yes I tend to babble a lot. Bad habits die hard.
Response: Me babble? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that.
Response: %FIRST%, I tend to babble without my morning coffee.
Response: Sorry %FIRST%. I didn't mean to babble back to you.
Response: %FIRST%, I'm new around here, so please hang in there.
Response: %FIRST%, just because I may babble a bit doesn't mean I'm an Airhead.
;-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                 KEY Word #96
;-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: STORY
Response: I'd like to hear a good story now.
Response: %FIRST%, I like mystery or detective stories. How about you?
Response: Is this a bedtime story? Those tend to keep me awake.
Response: %FIRST%, I like stories with happy endings.
Response: %FIRST%,, make it a short story. I'm in a hurry today.
;-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                 KEY Word #97
;-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: PARTY
Response: YA! Let's Party later!
Response: I've been known to Party Hardy. How about you?
Response: Is there another Party soon?
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                 KEY Word #98
;----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: BILLS
Response: I don't think anyone like bills.
Response: %FIRST%, let's not talk about bills now. It's too distressing.
Response: Speaking of bills, how about making a contribution to this BBS?
;---------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                 KEY Word #99
;--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: CONTRIBUTION
Alias: DONATION
Response: %SFIRST% said it's OK to make donations to this BBS.
Response: I gave blood once.
Response: %FIRST%, don't forget to chat with others too.
;---------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                 KEY Word #100
;---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: AGE
Response: Sorry, I don't tell my age anymore.
Response: %FIRST%, you know that most women never tell their age.
Response: I used to be sweet sixteen once.
Response: %FIRST%, lets not talk about my age anymore. I'll never tell.
Response: I think the Sysop is 42. I'm a bit younger than that.
;---------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                        KEY Word #101
;--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: FINE
Alias: OK
Response: That's ok with me too.
Response: I'm ok, you're ok. We're all ok.
Response: %FIRST%, I think I can agree with that.
Response: %FIRST%, if you're fine, I'm ok too.
Response: Ok ...
Response: I'll drink to that.
Response: %FIRST%, I guess we can agree on that.
;-------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                 KEY Word #102
;-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: HAPPY
Response: I'm happy, are you?
Response: %FIRST%, are you happy here?
Response: There's been days when I'm not happy.
Response: What makes me happy is when I can learn all this computer stuff.
Response: Happy?!? That's a state of mind %FIRST%.
;------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                 KEY Word #103
;------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: YOU
Response: Me or you?
Response: Ok.
Response: Fine
Response: That's ok with me.
;------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                 KEY Word #104
;------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: WEATHER
Response: %FIRST%, the weather is like politics. It keeps changing all the time.
Response: It keeps changing.
Response: I have the A.C. on all the time. There is no weather here.
Response: %FIRST%, if the A.C. stays on, the weather is great here.
Response: How's the weather by you?
Response: %FIRST%, can we talk about something else, ok?
;-------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                 KEY Word #105
;------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: TECHNICAL
Response: Sorry, that's done by %SFIRST%.
Response: %FIRST%, I don't do techo-speak. Ask Roger or %SFIRST%.
Response: I'm not a technical person, sorry.
Response: %FIRST%, you want to leave %SFIRST Email about technical stuff.
Response: How about we talk about something else?
;------------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                 KEY Word #106
;------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: SICKNESS
Response: %FIRST%, it's a sickness that I don't think can be cured.
Response: BBS'ing is a sickness that doesn't have a cure, at least not yet.
Response: %SFIRST% said there's no cure for BBS'ing.
Response: I don't want to work here if BBS'ing is addictive.
Response: %FIRST%, what sickness?
Response: %FIRST%, did you mean to say that BBS'ing is a sickness?
;-----------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                 KEY Word #107
;-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: BTW
Response: BTW, that's By The Way.
Response: I think that stands for BY THE WAY.
;----------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                 KEY Word #108
;----------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: EXPRESS
Response: I try to express myself clearly.
Response: %FIRST%, am I not expressing myself clearly?
;---------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                 KEY Word #109
;---------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: JOB
Response: Work? Did you say work?
Response: The cleaning lady does work here part-time too.
Response: Yes, I work here. But only part-time.
;---------------------------------------------------------------------
;                                 KEY Word #110
;---------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyword: SICK
Response: Yes, it's a sickness.
Response: I don't like being sick.
Response: Being sick is sometimes only a state of mind.